Why should I whine about the sudden summer heat around here, when my friend Misty Ansted has already said it so well? With her kind permission, I present her open letter (which first appeared on her Facebook timeline over Memorial Day weekend 2018) to our favorite state.
Um, yeah….hey there Texas.
So, this is problematic. See, it’s just now Memorial Day weekend. You can’t be doing this to us yet. This hell is gonna need to wait until at least mid July but preferably August. If you do this now, this means we are already stuck indoors, hoping for no rolling black outs, so we don’t sweat there too, and praying our cars and houses don’t melt in the scorching heat. Our pools automatically become large hot tubs and literally NO outdoor activity is enjoyable until like 10pm at night.
There’s not enough electricity in this state to accommodate this kind of torture all summer. Not to mention, if this lasts three straight months, Texas you will literally disintegrate. From space you’re just gonna see what appears to be a large Texas shaped grass fire.
Northerners are gonna come down in August and just find scorched houses and bodies and landmarks that used to be there. Not acceptable, Texas. You know better, darlin. So, we gonna need you to simmer down a bit so we can enjoy at least a month or so of summer before you turn into the 7th ring of hell.
You know I love you. I have for 38 years, but we had to have this talk. Please, we aren’t asking for much. Mid 90’s are acceptable. But 100 and over. Just no. Not yet babe, not yet.
All my love to the greatest state ever (except in August),
Misty is working toward a Master’s degree in Christian Education at Dallas Theological Seminary, where she also holds down a challenging, almost-full-time job. She and her husband, Matt, have three children ages 4 to 14. And in her spare time, she likes to… um, she… oh.
Y’all stay cool!
Thanks for reading,