I think my washing machine has been taking Zumba classes when I’m not looking. And just when I was starting to show my uppity microwave who’s boss, too. It’s all very discouraging. When are my appliances going to start just doing their jobs and then taking the rest of the day off, like all the other machines?
The washer, a Maytag, used to behave quite responsibly. Fill, wash, spin, fill, rinse, spin some more, STOP. Repeat as needed. It stood next to the dryer, their sides aligned two inches apart and their fronts perfectly even. Just the way I like it; crooked things bug me. Then, a few months ago, I walked into the laundry room to dry the towels, and almost plowed into the washer. It had shimmied itself away from the wall and was standing at a goofy angle, straining its cold-water fill hose to the limit like a Jack Russell terrier pulling at the leash. I leaned down, embraced Maytag with both arms and ooched it back into place.
Then it started messing with me.
After spinning each load of laundry, Maytag would add an extra “cha-cha” step and end up cocked at an odd angle. Sometimes the difference was subtle, and I could just tug a little on one corner to bring it back into line. Other times it would do “The Bump” against the dryer, or nearly squash the laundry basket into the corner. I got pretty good at leaning into it with one leg extended back for leverage, doing a sort of tango move to coax Maytag back into its proper place. (I learned the hard way to never, ever try moving it while the tub is full of water.)
One evening Brent came home and walked from the garage into the laundry room to find me thus poised, looking like a cross between a ship’s figurehead and Carol Burnett. I must say, I found it a little insulting when he eased back out the door without a word, instead of offering to help.
I’m not sure what to do about Maytag, or why the sudden interest in dancing.
I wonder if I could talk it into taking a ‘spin’ class instead…
No, that would probably not be challenging enough.
Thanks for reading!